Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant

Chris Massoglia, John C. Reilly, Josh Hutcherson, Jessica Carlson
Paul Weitz

Before I begin this review, I feel obligated to state that I am completely, wholly, 100% biased towards this movie. How can I dare write in hate towards a movie remaking the beloved book? The book that I bought for only $5, that was worn and musty, that I curled up in bed and read and giggled at the ridiculousness of. So before anyone says that this review looks too fondly upon that silly movie, keep in mind that it was one of my first endeavors into the horror genre I now love.
The movie follows a boy, Darren, who has a yin-and-yang relationship with his best friend, Steve. Darren is a nice straight-forward cliché popular boy, whereas Steve likes to walk on the dark side. During an argument, a mysterious car drives by and out floats and invitation to the Cirque du Freak. Thus begins a dark delicious story about a half-vampire boy and his friends in the Cirque (and beyond).
I loved this movie. I thought it was fun and lighthearted and stuck to the odd storyline of the book. The characters are vibrant and animated and the action scenes are exciting. It runs a little long, taking its time to get to the point, but its definitely worth watching.
Now, however, I must express something that I hope will inadvertently reach the ears of all the Hollywood vampire-obsessed moviemakers: what about us ladies? Must we always be the older sexy vampire vixen that pops up in a couple scenes, or the innocent non-vampire who offers her neck to her lover? When do we get our movie, our awkward difficult transformations into blood-sucking alluring beasts? I’d like to see that. And I’m hoping, now with the vampire movie becoming increasingly popular (look forward to my New Moon rant in the upcoming month) that the content will vary so that we can actually be the one thrashing on the ground in pain before becoming a true horrific freak.
I give this three vagenises.
The Goods: sticks to the book.
The Bads: stereotypical female roles and no female vampires whatsoever.